Taking the cake.

From the comments:

January 26, 2007 11:03 AM
unfun said...
Seriously people, enter the archives of the douche's blog at your own risk (of severe indigestion).

"This leads to the LIGHT BULB ABOVE THE HEAD IDEA. A sign to everyone else in the world that reads "Turn and run away!" but I see as the margin of my brilliance. The idea is... "If I throw the cake in the trash I won't eat it because it's garbage now." Mensa, baby! I know if I'm going to eat the cake out of the trash before my feet hit the floor. And if I've spoiled it with detergent, I eat around the detergent. If believing it isn't safe in my internal apartment trash, I throw it in the communal trash in the hallway, I still eat it. Once, the service elevator door opened and the porter, looking to steal away my trash bounty, caught me in full bite, chocolate smeared on my face when I didn't want to waste the time to go back inside and eat it. He just looked at me with a steely stare, "You done?" Pointing to the stinking industrial can of the seventeenth floor's waste, more affectionately known as my evening dessert. I made sure I got all my cake out. "Take it. And then just the check please." I didn't say that last part."

I mean honestly, has their ever, in the history of mankind, lived a person as repulsive? HE WRITES ABOUT EATING CAKE OUT OF COMMUNAL APARTMENT GARBAGE CANS! And then WONDERS WHY HE IS STILL SINGLE! Listen Eric, some things are better left unsaid. Like, pretty much anything that crosses your mind. Just, try not talking. Or writing. At all. Ever again.

January 26, 2007 1:31 PM